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The Stolen Journal

I started my first journal in the seventh grade. It was a wide-ruled yellow notebook leftover from sixth grade english. Every night in my blue flannel pajamas, hair pulled back and zit cream on my face, I would dump my pre-teen soul onto it’s spiral bound pages, dishing all of the latest middle school gossip and lining the margins with doodles that I learned from the cool kids in class – the pre-digital era emoticons of my junior high days. I wrote about the best and worst moments of my daily life. Nothing in between. As a twelve year-old, there…

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Fullness, Togetherness, and Why I Love/Hate Starbucks

Jeff and I live in an area of town that is chock full of entrepreneurs and TONS of stay at home parents. Why does this matter? Oh it matters. Have you ever been to my closest Starbucks? Lemme ‘splain. We moved to our neighborhood three and a half years ago, a month after I left my day job to work on our photography business full-time. The second the movers left, I grabbed my laptop and strutted out the door to go work at our local Starbucks for the very first time. After a year of working in a corporate office…

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Henri Nowen on The Greatest Trap in Our Lives

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left…

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They Steal Your Leather Boots Don’t They?

I’m a nester. A mole. I love to burrow into my comfortable, safe spaces that I create around me, knowing that I’m in control. Because when I’m in control, things will always be the same. And same is safe. But Jeff … well… Jeff has the confidence of a Honey Badger. He just don’t care. He has this relentless ocean of self-assurance that makes what little confidence I have look like one of those smelly puddles on the street next to the sidewalk – everybody avoids it and nobody wants to talk about what’s in it. We got these free…

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The Last Thing I Never Knew I Needed

Yesterday, Jeff and I had some work to do (on a Sunday I know – we can normally take the whole day off but there were pressing deadlines), and my mind was everywhere but where it needed to be. My brains were in a fog – I couldn’t think, I couldn’t focus, and I wasn’t getting any work done. I slogged through the two red hot must-get-done-now items on my to-do list and then I wandered around the house, grabbed a swiffer and vaccuum and began working on the floors. But ten minutes later, I found my foggy self standing…

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Chaos, Gracie, and Abandonment Issues

I don’t know what we’re gonna do when we have kids. They’re gonna have the worst abandonment issues… October. It’s our busiest time of year with weddings, travel, and speaking, so life right now is chaos. Controlled, organized, systematized, non-stop chaos. Monday the 17th, we hopped on a red-eye flight that began an entire month of non-stop travel. We flew to Indiana to visit Jeff’s brother Dan for the week and to speak to a group of photographers at the Indianapolis PUG. At the end of the trip, after four hours of sleep, we hopped on a crack-of-dawn flight back…

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It’s Always Been There

I have spent the majority of my life feverishly covering up the fact that I am not a perfect person. And you know what the terrible irony is? The fact that I am imperfect is completely obvious to everybody out there. You don’t even have to meet me face to face to see that I am an insecure, imperfect person with lots of issues. I’m sure you can feel it right here on the blog in my writing. It’s everywhere. That’s the problem with insecurity. The more we try to cover it up, the more obvious it becomes. As a…

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Life is Good, Now That I Do

This week we photographed a wedding, a portrait session, and a two day photo shoot for Exquisite Weddings Magazine. Yesterday we flew into Chicago for a beautiful wedding that’s happening later today. Tomorrow we’re hanging out one on one with a lovely photographer and then we’re speaking to the Chicago PUG and the South Bend PUG. That will bring us to Tuesday. When we get home on Wednesday, we have an engagement session and a family session, and then a fabulous wedding next Saturday. In the life of a photographer, busy is good. And even though we’re in the midst…

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Lessons From Salt Fish and Fried Bananas

It was a plate mounded with beans and brown rice, a fried banana, a scoop of what looked like potato salad but turned out to be salt fish, two thin chicken drumsticks, and some sort of fruit that had the consistency of bread and tasted like a crumbly, half-cooked yam. I didn’t eat it.  Actually, I took one bite and slowly spit it back into my napkin when the shop owner wasn’t looking. I love traveling. There’s nothing like showing up hot and sweaty at a random roadside building that looks like it’s supposed to be a restaurant, asking for…

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