It’s been exactly two weeks since my last blog post. When I read that out loud, I feel a mixture of gentle relief and slight nausea.
This is the longest gap of time with no posts on this blog since I can remember (which really isn’t that far back – I blame the humidity). Two weeks. A part of me is tied up in hysterical, stressed out knots. The other part of me wants to award me a medal. Which would be a good thing except that the medal would be for “Most Neglected Blog in 2010.”
Rewind to two weeks ago….
I’m staring at a suitcase and a pile of clothes in our bedroom in Singapore, and I keep forgetting what I’m doing. I fold one of Jeff’s shirts and place it inside the suitcase and then I grab two socks and fold them together. It’s at this point that I can’t figure out what the heck I’m supposed to do with them next. It takes enormous effort to remember that I’m packing a suitcase and the socks go inside of it. I try talking to myself kindly, like a schoolteacher talking to her kindergartners. “We’re going outside for recess ok? Remember that recess is only 15 minutes long, ok? When the bell rings, line up outside the door. Remember that, ok?”
I tell myself, “We are taking a trip, remember? We are leaving for Phuket in the morning and this needs to be packed tonight. You just finished the laundry, so you need to fold each item and place it in the suitcase, ok?”
It’s a little embarrassing. I mean, I’m on vacation in Southeast Asia and I’m so tired and exhausted that I can’t remember how to pack a suitcase. I had been sick for a number of days and our friends had arrived from the US to join us on our Thailand trip, so we had spent two days touring the endless concrete/escalator jungle that is this modern walking city. My feet hurt, my eyes burned, my sinuses were blocked and my back wanted to kill me. Everything was miserable except for my heart. I was deliriously happy to be there. Just exhausted from that happiness.
When Jeff walked in and saw me standing over our suitcase staring blankly at his socks, he took me by the hand, sat me down and said I needed a break. “But I’m on vacation,” I said. “I am on a break!”
“No,” he said. “A real break. You’re here, but you’re not relaxing. Take a break from everything.”
I gasped. I knew what he meant when he said everything. It meant leaving behind *gulp* my laptop… Which meant no *panick* blogging for the next ten days!! As Jeff stripped my laptop out of my iron clad fingers the next morning, I asked if there would at least be Wi-fi at our hotels. He replied yes, and that I could do whatever I wanted on my iPhone, knowing full well that it takes me 45 minutes to write “so here I am in Thailand” on those tiny iPhone keys. Damn.
But dear bloggy blog, you have to give my dear hubby some credit. After ten days of Thai sun, crystal clear water, lounging on the beach, sleeping by the river, jumping through waterfalls, riding elephants, petting tigers, sleeping on the train, and shopping in Bangkok, I am finally…. well… uncoiled. I have finally relaxed. It has taken six weeks, but I have finally shaken off the stress that I brought with me to Asia and slipped on a dress of cool, sweet, contentment.
As I dumped our filthy, smelly clothes out of our suitcase upon our return from Thailand to Singapore a few days ago, I felt alive. And it’s taken me a few days to blog since then. I’m not saying that blogging is stressful. Not at all. But sometimes, you have to turn off the faucet, wash out the sink, and let it dry completely, before filling it back up again with cool, clean water once more.
And since posts with pictures are way cooler, here’s a picture of my relaxation: Erawan Falls outside of Kanchanaburi, Thailand. This is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. (BTW this is one set in SEVEN sets of waterfalls, every one uniquely beautiful).